Social media makes it seem like relationships are one long love-fest of family dinners, traveling around and selfies in the sunset. As you find yourself battling angers, frustrations and jealousies, you may be wondering when did it all go so wrong? The truth is that most couples are navigating the same relationship pitfalls you are, right in between the posting and tweeting.

So, what are a few pitfalls you should avoid to ensure you too will soon be sailing the friendly skies with your loved one and a stroller?

Stop pushing buttons

Sometimes you know the thing that will drive your partner nuts, and because your mad yourself or can’t help yourself, or just bored, you decide to just go ahead and push that button. You got the reaction you wanted but now it’s ruined his mood and yours, and maybe the entire weekend. But beyond that, you just eroded the trust in your relationship just a bit more.

Abrupt exits

Abrupt exits in the middle of an argument or a fight can further exacerbate the situation.  Instead of being able to use the space to calm oneself down, if the other person exits brusquely without care, the emotions remain unresolved. This can instill feelings of abandonment and resentment that can linger well after the argument is resolved.

Don’t take advantage

Everyone has their limits. Just because your partner does not actively stop you from doing something or complain about your behavior, does not mean you should be doing it excessively.  Don’t take advantage of another person’s understanding. Pay attention to your own behavior and how it impacts your partner – this builds mutual respect and creates space for both people to feel considered in the relationship.

Don’t block reconciliatory gestures

People fight and they have confrontations. Almost more important is how they make up from the fight. The ability to make up, forgive each other and put it behind you, is a cornerstone in building a healthy dynamic. So, when you’re still stewing over that last thing he or she did to you, don’t deliberately miss the attempts being made to reconcile. Your partner is putting the relationship first to make the gesture of apology (it can look like a hug, an attempt to make you laugh, help around the house), it’s only fair that you do the same.

Stop tuning out

When you tune out your partner, you miss crucial information about how they are doing. You lost the opportunity to check in on their mood, their expectations, their frame of mindYou can’t offer support or express concern because you did not care to listen when they were sharing about their day, their dreams. . The longer you tune out, the more distance starts to frost the relationship – and that kind of frost is hard to thaw.

When we find ourselves in a committed relationship, it’s easy to take things for granted and ignore each other and forget the truly wonderful person you initially fell in love with. With a little effort and care we can reconnect and step over the nasty pitfalls of love.


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